As youth workers, children look up to us to teach them right from wrong.

The death—the murder—of George Floyd is wrong. Our country’s unrelenting, inequitable treatment of people of color is wrong. The systemic racism embedded in our society is simply wrong.
 
Black lives DO matter. Our organization’s commitment to stand in the shared values of anti-racism, inclusion, equity, and fairness toward those whose well-being is under constant threat will remain.
 
In his Letter from a Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Right now, everywhere the youth of New York look, they see injustice. Many of these children already sense that the deck is stacked against them

Roads to Success stands with our youth as well as their families and against the institutional racism and systemic abuse that has eroded the social trust between law enforcement and the communities we serve. 
 
As we continue to provide virtual after-school and summer programming, we will also continue to embrace a holistic approach that includes trauma-informed practices as well as diversity, equity, and inclusion. However, we need support from parents and caregivers to continue to have conversations with your children regarding these topics at home.
 
If you're not sure where to start, here are 10 Tips for Teaching and Talking to Kids About Race from MomsRising (y en español también), and let your child ask questions. Remember, silence about race reinforces racism by letting children draw their own conclusions based on what they see. Childcare providers, youth workers and families can play a powerful role in helping children of all ages develop positive attitudes about race and diversity and skills to promote a more just future—but only if we talk about it!
 
It's OK to not have all of the answers... they're called difficult or courageous conversations for a reason. Be honest, do some research, and learn (and unlearn) together. 
 
This is life-long work. Your children will always be our students, and we will always stand in partnership with you and your families.
 
In solidarity,
Bashan Fernandez and the Roads to Success Team

Programs that we've had to suspend include, College Access for All, college campus tours financial literacy workshops, and our Annual Leadership Retreat. The Summer Youth Employment Program for 2020 was officially suspended by the City in April, and our summer camp programs remain in the air as the uncertainty of when our city will reopen leaves us paralyzed.
 
In order to maximize our reach in this new digital space, we've been working diligently to create opportunities where young people can easily become a part of our community.
 
Instagram live classes are offered daily at 4:30pm, taught by RTS instructors and range from fitness to the arts, and even cooking! Our Go Pro with RTS series are held every Tuesday and Thursday, offering college and career workshops that are open to all ages.
 
Looking Forward 
With so many changes happening daily, our first concern is of course, the health and well-being of everyone in our community. But if we are to be role models to our young people, especially in a time like this, then it is important for us to adapt and move forward with a positive outlook and continue on with our mission of empowering youth as best we can.  

Two major terms that have emerged in youth guidance include asset-based language and growth mindset. 
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Asset-based language means focusing on a child’s skills and abilities instead of shortcomings. The best way to motivate most youth is by giving them the credit that they CAN succeed. “Why can’t you do your assignments on time?” is a deficit-based approach, whereas “I am confident that you will complete your assignments” is an asset-based approach, which is more likely to inspire your child to succeed at small tasks. At times when we are frustrated, this can be difficult, but practice makes (almost) perfect.

Growth mindset (opposite of fixed mindset) refers to the idea of focusing on how your child can become intelligent by working hard, as opposed to just being smart or being naturally good at something. This is backed up by recent brain studies which suggest that we’re all capable of learning new things and changing our behaviors during our entire lifespan!

By complimenting your child’s efforts instead of their “gifts” and by focusing on their successes rather than struggles, you contribute to their gains in self-efficacy and positive identity, two tremendously important SEL capacities!

​Nothing comforts young people like enjoyable rituals that they can look forward to. Continuing with established activities such as coloring Easter eggs and celebrating birthdays is very important while practicing social distancing. However, it is also easy to create at-home rituals that are more short-term, which hold purpose in helping your child continually grow within. Here are some ideas:

• Feelings check-in: Pick a time of day or week such as a family meal where everyone shares a word about how they are feeling and why.
• Positive reinforcement totem: Does your child get acknowledged for positive interactions at their program with a “good deed bead” or a “shout-out poster?” These symbolic gestures are easy to create and have more meaning than transactional prizes like stickers or treats. Give an object a meaning such as a “you rock” rock or a decorated pin that can be passed around among family members to help highlight examples of cooperation.
• Peaks and pits: This is a common ritual where each person takes a turn describing the best part of their week (peak), and also the low point (pit).
• A few easy ones for mealtimes are tell-a-joke Tuesday, ask a silly/hypothetical question, MadLibs; guessing games (I spy, etc).

​Do you have a constant battle over a daily routine, or a less-than-favorite household task that just needs to be done? Instead of getting into a game of tug-o-war, continually debating details of how something should or shouldn’t be done, simply take the time to put it in writing! Most importantly, make it collaborative. Give your child a voice. You will be surprised at how often their choice will be to do the right thing when they are asked to give input on a rule or guideline. With some guidance as to what you are trying to accomplish with them, you will raise the bar and watch them meet you there.

Your tone is important in this exercise, and you MUST be careful to listen and compromise – not to lecture or dictate. Think about what you need to accomplish during this time (or times), why this will help your child, and how you can explain non-negotiable parts of the agreement without making them feel like they have no authority over their participation. You can use a poster or a dry-erase board to document these guidelines or invitations. To take it a step further, celebrate this milestone of agreement by decorating it with your family. Remember to have it handy for when you might have to refer to it again. Also, be flexible. Maybe parts of the agreement are not realistic and need to be changed. Work with your family and show your child how to adjust and compromise. That brings us to the next tip ...

​Perhaps the most important ingredient to building up your child’s capacity to collaborate or manage themselves is not a creative, new ritual or tool, but something that must live in the very fabric of your day: role modeling. Now, we all cannot be perfect humans 24 hours a day, but there is some control we have on how we interact with one another. Resolve conflicts, don’t hide them. Give the benefit of the doubt, respect the other opinion, debate don’t hate! Your child will witness and borrow your techniques.

Stories, new and old. Stories, fictional and nonfictional. Stories made up by you. Stories from a book. Stories told by your child. These are all great resources. Years ago, we had no Netflix. We got our guidance and entertainment from generations upon generations of written and/or spoken word. Even before many religious scriptures there were fireside tales that helped people agree upon social discourse. Whether you confide in the Bible, Dr. Seuss, a relative who likes to tell tall tales via FaceTime, or all of the above – make plenty of time for stories, and make plenty of time to ask probing questions about scenarios that your children may find themselves in one day. When used effectively, stories they can provide an excellent compass for your child’s self-management and social awareness.

Want to share a great at-home tip for supporting SEL? Leave a comment below: